![]() Haleakalā was a good idea for our babymoon? Why didn't I just pass on that one beer or cocktail? I hated myself, even though my doctors reassured me this was not my fault.ĭr. Why on earth did my husband and I think driving up Mt. I blamed myself for all those exercise classes and the handful of flights and business trips, including one at 14,000 feet elevation in Lake Tahoe. ![]() Wracked with guilt, I felt myself spiraling. Not only did my dreams of having a vaginal birth at home in a warm water bath evaporate instantly, but I was crushed to learn that we would have a guaranteed stint at the neonatal intensive care unit if we were fortunate enough to keep our baby alive. Instead of happy endings, I was flooded with nightmare stories about stillborn babies, three-to-six-month-olds needing feeding tubes and life support due to their "failure to thrive," and toddlers missing developmental milestones. The Cleveland Clinic estimates IUGR affects about 10% of all pregnancies, yet I wondered why so many people, including myself, my family, and friends, had never heard of it before. I did what any expectant mother confined to bedrest, and this diagnosis would do. The only time I could leave home was for hospital appointments three to five times a week rigorous assessments, including non-stress tests to analyze the baby's heart rate, physical movements, and amniotic fluid, and Doppler tests to check fetal blood flow in the umbilical cord, brain, heart, and other organs. I was ordered to bed rest and had to stop all forms of physical activity. My stress-free pregnancy suddenly became high-risk. I was diagnosed with intrauterine growth restriction (IUGR), also known as fetal growth restriction (FGR), a term used to describe fetuses with fetal weight below the 10th percentile. This was supposed to be a routine check-up that suddenly turned into a possible death sentence for my daughter. My baby bump was small, but there hadn't been a cause for concern. How could this be happening? I had had, up to that point, a healthy, textbook pregnancy. ![]() "The baby may die inside the womb before birth." My husband and I sat in silence. "We found some abnormalities in your ultrasound," the perinatologist said. Two hours later, the technician returned, followed by a perinatologist - a high-risk OB/GYN. "What do you think is going on?" I asked my husband. We were sitting in a cold, dark ultrasound room, and the technician was taking forever. Account icon An icon in the shape of a person's head and shoulders. ![]()
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